


By My Side

by purgatoan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Insomnia, Multi, Nightmares, POV First Person, Polyamory, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9562997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purgatoan/pseuds/purgatoan
Summary: Reader has insomnia and Reader’s tiredness leads to some trouble on a hunt. After that, the Winchesters decide to try to help the reader, but it turns into more over time.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Reader's gender isn't specified (no pronouns) so it can be either female, male, non-binary, genderfluid, it's your choice! (I wanted to make this one for absolutely everyone!)
> 
> Also, I really hope you're going to like this one!

It seemed like it’s always been that way, even if deep down, I knew it wasn’t truth.

It wasn’t always because of the nightmares. Sometimes yes, I would wake up in the middle of the night after a particularly terrible dream and stay up, afraid to see what I saw in those dreams again. Other times, however, it was just the fact that I couldn’t fall asleep. I would toss and turn but no matter how tired I was, the sleep didn’t want to come. Nothing helped.

I got used to feeling bad, terrible even. First, there was always a headache. Dull pain, then sharp, making it feel like someone was stabbing my head, then squeezing it, like a vice.

After that usually came numbness. I would stop caring about anything at all, just zone out and stare at nothing at particular, snapping back to reality once in awhile. I would eat a lot, my body was trying to compensate the lack of rest with more food, but that didn’t work, even if I wanted it to. 

Sometimes it would go past that and I would fall asleep for a second or two, then wake up, because my brain would decide that sleeping could wait. 

I didn’t even notice that something was wrong. I thought everyone felt that way until one day, I froze on a hunt.

* * *

Dean was pinned down by a werewolf, shouting for me to throw him a knife, but I just couldn’t do it. It felt like I was made of ice. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t think. I could do nothing, only stare blankly until the werewolf dug his claws in Dean’s shoulder, making him scream in pain.

That made me snap out of my daze and I lunged forward, throwing the werewolf off Dean’s body. I managed to pin the monster down, but I knew I had to act quick. I reached for the knife that fell out of Dean’s hand, then brought it down onto the werewolf. Blood sprayed my shirt and face as I plunged it into his heart, twisting it until I felt him slump down under me.

It took me a second to realize that Dean had been hurt, it felt like I was in slow motion when I was so tired. I ran to him, immediately applying pressure onto the gash on his left shoulder as I stumbled onto the floor in front of him.

“Just a scratch,” Dean let out, but I shook my head, feeling blood gush through my fingers.

“Cas, get in here!” I shouted, and the angel appeared on my right side, his eyes glowing.

Without wasting time, he put his hands on mine and I felt his grace flow through my fingers, then into Dean’s body, making the wound close and the blood stop pouring out. I breathed out a sigh of relief after the wound was healed and let go of Dean, then wiped the blood away from my face.

I blinked a few times, trying to keep myself awake and got up slowly, but I stumbled a bit to the right, my legs wobbly.

“You okay?” Dean asked, getting back to his feet as well with help from Cas.

“Yeah. Just tired,” I marked those words with a yawn and smiled, trying to assure him everything was fine.

However, Castiel stepped closer to me and put his hand on my forehead, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion.

“You seem immensely exhausted,” he said then looked at Dean, his expression worried.

Dean nodded slowly and I felt a rush of Castiel’s grace flow through me, making my eyelids drop in no time. I saw nothing but darkness then felt someone wrap their arms around me before I had the chance to drop to the floor as I passed out.

* * *

When I opened my eyes, it was dark around me. It took a moment or two to take in the surroundings, and I realised I was in my room in the Bunker.

But, how did I get there? We were on a hunt!

Then, I felt someone’s hand being laid on my shoulder and I whipped my head right to see who was right beside me.

“Hey, everything alright?” Sam asked me, his voice full of concern, “Cas put you to sleep and told us that you were so tired you shouldn’t have been able to function in the first place. What’s going on?

I hesitated a moment, before I let out, “I don’t know, I just can’t sleep.”

Sam let go of my shoulder and flicked on a lamp then sat on the bed next to me, “Nightmares?”

I shook my head no, “Only sometimes. But, other times, it’s nothing. I lay in my bed for what seems like hours and hours, but sleep doesn’t come, no matter how tired I am.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, “Do you think something could help with that? Anything?”

“Not that I know of. So far, I tried almost everything,” I admitted, turning my attention to the door when I heard it open.

Dean entered the room, an awkward smile on his face. Only then I remembered what happened on the hunt. I froze and it could have ended badly for him. It was all because of me.

“I’m sorry, it’s all my fault that you got hurt,” I said, feeling terrible about the fact that I was the reason for all of that.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m good as new,” Dean assured as he plopped onto the chair next to my bed, “Now, what the hell’s going on?”

“Seems like Y/N has insomnia,” Sam answered for me, and I nodded, not knowing what to do exactly.

“Huh. Nightmares and all this crap?”

“Yes and no.” That seemed to confuse him. “I mean, sometimes there are no nightmares, just inability to sleep, that’s all.”

“Overthinking maybe?” He kept asking, and I couldn’t help but nod again.

“Yeah, this one too. But I honestly don’t know what to do about it,” I admitted, suddenly feeling vulnerable. There I was, discussing my sleep schedule - or rather lack of it - with the Winchesters.

They had important things on their plate and I kept talking about crap they didn’t need to hear. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I keep my problems to myself? It must’ve been the fact I wasn’t quite awake yet.

“Nevermind, forget it,” I let out, rubbing my eyes with my fists, then sat up.

Dean rolled his eyes, “Forget it my ass. No, we’re gonna figure this out somehow, but you can’t pretend that everything’s fine when it’s not.” This wasn’t a suggestion on his behalf. It sounded nearly like an order, but I knew he meant well.

“You know, you could take your own advice here,” I said and Sam couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh, come on. We won’t discuss my feelings here or whatever crap you just thought about,” he said, a hint of threat in his voice, but I knew he was joking, “So, what do we do with it?”

“Do you want to book an appointment, maybe?” Sam asked me hesitantly, a soft smile on his face, but I shook my head no.

“And tell the doctor that I have nightmares about werewolves or vampires ripping you two apart? No thanks, I don’t want to end up in a psych ward,” I retorted, leaning back on the bedpost. Only then I realised what I had said.

Sam was the first to break the awkward silence that casted itself upon the room, “Your nightmares are about us?”

It was embarrassing, but I admitted, “Yeah, at least most of them. You getting hurt. You going to hell. You dying in any possible way there is in this damn world.”

“Hey, you know we don’t stay dead for long, right?” Dean joked, but I wasn’t in the mood to laugh, “Hey, really? This is one of the things that keeps you up at night?” He wondered, getting up from the chair and sitting right next to me, on the left side of the bed.

“Mhm,” I let out, focusing my gaze on my hands.

“So, you just need to know we’re fine and not dead, basically?” Sam’s voice was nothing but gentle, making me look up and turn my attention toward him.

He was smiling softly at me, his expression absolutely free of judgement or anything else. 

“Pretty much?” I stuttered out, feeling my cheeks burn hot.

“Well, seems like there’s only one solution for this, but I’m going to make sure I got it right first,” Dean said and I couldn’t help but be confused, “Are you having trouble falling asleep when we’re on a case?”

I took a few seconds to think this through and responded confidently, “No, I don’t think so. Why?”

A smile that appeared on Dean’s face was nearly triumphant, “Seems like you’re sleeping like a baby when we’re around. And, if you don’t want to get help from the doc yet, I have only one idea,” I couldn’t help but blush even more as Dean lifted the bed covers and got onto the bed right next to me, “We’re gonna take turns sharing the bed with you. Hopefully, the nightmares will stop.”

“You’re crazy,” I let out, having no idea if he was serious or not.

“You’re not the first one to tell me that. But, seriously, it’s no big deal. We do it all the time on cases anyway,” Dean shrugged and rolled to his right side, a stupid smirk on his face.

Before I had a chance to say something, Sam butted in, “He’s right. Let’s just try and see if it works. If it doesn’t, we’re going to drag your ass for an appointment, whether you want it or not.”

“Fine,” I said with resignation and sank under the bed covers, trying not to touch Dean with any of my limbs.

Sam got up from the bed then and crossed the room in a few strides, “Okay, I’m going to get some research done. Hope you sleep well,” he flashed me a smile and got out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

To say that it was awkward would be a complete understatement. I laid still, not daring to move; I didn’t want to bump into Dean.

After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a few minutes, Dean said, “Come on, make yourself comfortable. You’ll never fall asleep if you’re gonna just stare at the ceiling.”

He was right. I knew he was. But lying in one bed with Dean Winchester when there was no reason for that, apart from the fact that he cared for me was making me feel things I didn’t want to feel. All of it was making me go back to that pathetic crush state that kept me up at night more times than I could count.

The funniest thing? Not only I had a crush on him, but I had a damn crush on his brother too. How messed up is that?

“You’re not even trying,” he huffed and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, “May I?” He asked, moving a bit closer.

I nodded, but didn’t expect him to wrap his arm around me and pull me so close to him. Close enough that I could feel the warmth seeping through his clothes and onto me. Close enough that I could feel his breath on my face on his muscles shifting against mine.

I closed my eyes, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to look at him and not make an utter fool of myself, and snuggled closer, trying to focus on the beat of his heart.

I felt anxious and nervous though, the complete opposite of how they thought I’d feel, so I said, “Talk to me about something, I feel awkward.”

A deep chuckle reverberated through his chest, “What do you want me to talk about?”

I couldn’t help but shrug, “I don’t know. Something, anything.”

After a moment of silence, he began telling me about the time when I didn’t know the Winchesters yet, way before I met them, way before I became a part of their twisted family. How they got back to being a family after Sam left for Stanford, how they were looking for their father, how they finally found him and, before he had a chance to say more, I felt my eyelids drop and I drifted off.

* * *

I’ve never slept as good as that night. I woke up well-rested, feeling Dean’s arms wrapped around my body still. I looked up and saw that he was already awake. He seemed to be watching me, a wide smile on his face.

“It worked,” he beamed and I nodded, sighing contently.

And that’s how it began. Some nights I shared the bed with Dean, while other nights I shared the bed with Sam. The insomnia was still there once in awhile, keeping me up at night even while one of them was by my side, but it was much more rare occurrence than when I slept alone.

Sometimes, when I couldn’t sleep, I’d wake the Winchester by my side, and they would keep me company, no matter how exhausted they were. Then, after we both got tired with watching movies or reading random lore, we’d fall asleep and didn’t get up until we got enough rest.

* * *

After one terribly tiring hunt, we booked into a motel and there was only one room available. We took it without hesitation, but I couldn’t help but be surprised when it turned out that there was only one bed in that room.

It was enormous, fortunately, but I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. Pick who was going to share the bed with me? Sleep on the floor? I had no idea.

To say that I was surprised would be an understatement when, after Sam and Dean took their showers, they climbed under the sheets and told me to get on the bed too, leaving some space in the middle of the bed.

I hesitated for a brief moment, then slid under the covers in between them, acting as some kind of a wall. Surprisingly, they both got closer to me, just like it was when only one of them was sharing the bed with me, and enveloped me in their embraces from both sides.

I knew they were often sharing a bed when they were kids, but I had absolutely no idea that they were still comfortable with doing that. Guess I was wrong.

* * *

After we got back to the Bunker after that hunt, I was preparing for sleep yet again, waiting for one of the boys to join me.

I froze when I saw both Sam and Dean entering my room, shy smiles on their faces.

“So, whose turn is it today?” I joked, plopping onto the bed, then slid under the covers.

They both crossed the room in a few strides and sat on the opposite edges of the bed. They were nervous for some reason, and you didn’t see that often if you were looking at the Winchesters.

“Hey, is everything okay?” I wondered, shifting my gaze from Sam to Dean and the other way around. Then the realization dawned on me, “Oh. It’s okay. I can sleep alone, you helped a lot already,” I smiled softly and they began laughing, which confused me even more.

“You thought we came here to ditch our offer? To stop helping you?” Dean let out in between chuckles, and I nodded hesitantly.

“You’re going to be so surprised,” Sam said, a full smile on his face.

“What do you mean? Then why did you both come here?” I didn’t understand what was going on.

Sam scratched the back of his head with his hand and spoke, “Well, we have to admit something that involves both of us, me and Dean. And it’s something that will involve you too, if you want. You should know, if you don’t know that already.”

“Okay, go ahead,” I encouraged, bringing my legs closer to my chest and hugging them tightly. It was one of the things I did when I was a bit nervous, just like I was in that moment.

Dean sighed, “Me and Sammy…” He took a deep breath, “We’re together.”

I definitely didn’t expect that, “Like, together-together?” I let out after a while, wanting to make sure I understood him clearly.

I wasn’t imagining that, was I?

“Yes. Together in every sense of the word,” Sam confirmed, slowly reaching for Dean’s hand and lacing their fingers together.

I could tell they had no idea what to expect from me. Their bodies were tense, their gazes locked with mine, trying to comprehend what I was thinking about them.

And there I thought they had been miserable on their own, when they had already found happiness in each other. Was I blind or just stupid? Maybe ignorant? Who knows, right?

“That’s great!” I exclaimed, getting up from the bed and trapping them both in a hug, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

I pulled away, a wide smile on my face, and they were both grinning like idiots as they saw how happy for them I was.

“We weren’t sure how you would take it,” Dean said simply.

“Okay. But what does that have to do with me?” I plopped onto the bed right next to them.

“Well, get this. We care about you-” Sam began.

“A lot,” Dean butted in, “We care about you a lot.” I nodded, feeling my cheeks heat up a bit.

They couldn’t be talking about that, right?

“So, would you like to be together with us?” Sam stuttered, locking his gaze with mine. 

My mouth fell slightly open as the meaning of those words caught up to me and I found myself unable to speak for a moment. Were they really asking me to enter a relationship with them?

“But if you don’t want to, it’s okay. We’ll still take turns or-” Sam kept on rambling until I interrupted him mid-sentence.

“Yeah. I mean, yes,” I whispered, nodding simultaneously, and I saw all the tension disappear from Sam and Dean in a blink of an eye.

They pulled me in a tight hug immediately and I relaxed, breathing them in. Breathing in safety and home.

I couldn’t believe that they wanted to have anything to do with me, I was no one special. But, there I was, being held tight by both Sam and Dean, knowing that no matter what happened, I’d be okay because I had them both by my side.


End file.
